I recently viewed a simulcast by Dr. Henry Cloud entitled " Necessary Endings ." He said that most people do not know when to end something – they just keep trudging along doing the same thing in the same way and expect a different result. Now we all know that's the definition of insanity, so why do we live this way?
One reason we do it is because it's comfortable.
Sometimes we'll only make a change when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change; that is, the solution is less painful than the problem. This mode of action will only take us so far because it is not born of vision, but of pain. Once there is pain relief, inertia and old ways resume. Rather than think about what you DO NOT want, spend some time and try to determine what it is you DO want. A life coach can guide you through this process and help you gain clarity for the future that is compelling. This clarity will be the engine that pulls you forward.
Other times we do not make a change because it will mean confrontation and most behavioral styles hate that, so instead of doing the employee or friend a favor by shutting the door so another one will open, we continue to live a lie and make believe everything is okay. In this scenario, everyone loses. People often need a wake up call because they do not hear the corrective actions that are suggested or respond well to the criticism of their destructive behavior patterns.
Dr. Cloud also suggests that a very common reason a necessary ending is not forthcoming is because the person has such a strong skill set that their employer believes the business can not survive without them. Meanwhile they are bulldozing their way through the company and many employees are making tracks to move elsewhere.
Sometimes our company just is not profitable and we feel that if we just keep at it, we will turn a corner and there will be a change for the better. Well, scroll up, and have another read about the definition of insanity; then give your head a shake, because if you do not change something, is not nothin 'gonna change!
Ask yourself: Self – where are the pain points in my life?
What do I want?
How will I get it?
What Challenges will try to trip me up?
What will it look like when I have it?
No one can answer these questions for you, but a life coach can provide a safe place for you to explore these questions and create lasting solutions.